PERSONALITY CRISIS

I got a new goldfish. His name is Russell.


I've been wittling away at this little zine for about 2 months. It's not even going to be mass Kinko'd. It's actually for a long distance boyfriend to kind of update him on the life and times of ME ME ME, but i tend to work on it after a couple of Pabst, and i lose interest, get bored or distracted and go re-arange my bedroom at 3am, or try and re-write lyrics to Sublime bass lines. Whatever. You get it.
But i'm starting to feel guilty. Neglecting art. I'm going to have to fold my laundry, pull out the glue, paints, and pencils and kick the fuck out of this thing. but then it won't be sincere? I've been feeling extremely uncreative lately, and everything i do feels fake and assholeish.
Prison was a good hammer to smash the artisitc block. But you can't pay me to go back. (ok. i wasn't really in prison, but super damn close enough.)

I've been working with a new photographer lately, who's totally stellar. I think one more round with him, and i might perk up brainstuffs. Sometimes, for me, it takes someone else who's undeniably awesome at what they do for me to get my fat ass in gear. is that cheating? Who cares, i can barely hold a pen anyways.