the Latina Virus gave me a Valentine. My computer hasn't shut down for about a half an hour. this makes me pleased, but i know it won't last long. In fact, i probably jinxed it already.

i'm going to eat an entire cheesecake. try and stop me.


never leave your drink unattended

bring condoms

have enough money for a cab, or reputable phone numbers of sober friends

bring band-aids for uncomfortable shoe blisters

wear lots of pink and red

(this holiday is dumb dumb dumb)