You know we tried to reach you/But you were much too high

guns n' fucking roses behind the music. i finally saw it.
slash can't stand up
duffs' too fucked up to talk
adler hides his needles behind the toilet
izzy walks off stage
and axl. oh, w. axl rose: kilts, white leather, spandex shorts, nobody knows i'm a lesbian, cowboy boots, fishnet, half shirts, gym shorts.
what a fucking powerhouse.

it's real sad to see axl as of recently. the bloat, the braids, the oversized leather pants. did i mention the braids? why choose between braids, and a bandana, when you can have both? gross. oh, and fucking buckethead in the "new" g n r? double gross.

some rockers have the ability to keep the cool into old age, or right up until they die. who? iggy pop, keith richards, thurston moore, johnny cash, david bowie, willie nelson, joe strummer, tom waits. you get it.
who lost it? johnny rotten, ozzy osbourne, tommy lee, paul mcartney, madonna, liz phair, and more than i want to talk about.
but who is the king of should have faded away? yeah. AXL.

i get the feeling that dude can't let go. "it's been almost a decade. i'm puffy, the eyebrows are waxed, i own the name g n r, got the corn rows tightend and a fresh bandana. let's hit the stage!"
what?! no! no no no. it's gone. you had it, and you ego-ed the fuck out of it. now you stay home. you ruined what made you, you ruined our trust and our faith in sleaze. go home. just let us have our memories.
sorry ax, but you brought it on yrself.
but goddamnit, i love you.


If I say I don't need anyone
I can say these things to you
'cause
I can turn on anyone
Just like I've turned on you
I've got a tongue like a razor
A sweet switchblade knife
I can do you favors
But then you'll do whatever I like

you got enough nicknames already.

i need to ask a favor of my readers, yes that means BOTH of you.
PLEASE send me the good luck vibes. i will tell you all about it later, but since i am a superstitious prick, i am keeping my mouth shut as to not jinx it.

outside in MPLS is absolutely awesome right now. i took Aries for a walk and i was totes blowin' in the wind. i love that feeling. wind in my hair makes me feel so cool. cooler than sunglasses, cooler than walking down the street with a 40oz., cooler than jesus, cooler than ankle breaking high heels, cooler than buying dope on the corner.
gimme blowin' in the wind in the summertime, and i am alright.

OH! one more thing. i got royally FUCKED today. fucked big time. remote throwing, fist pounding, pillow stabbing, swearing out the window FUCKED.
last fuking week i checked the listings to see when my Guns N Roses VHI Behind The Music would be on. today at 2. i was so goddamn excited and waiting for this day like i was getting my braces off.
THEN! i go to watch it at 2, and it ain't mutherfucking on. nope. Top 100 Celebrity Beefs is on. what? for real? so i look a few more weeks ahead to see if it was re-sched, and nope. nowhere. seriously? VH1 fucked me. big time.
letters will be sent.

me and kitty look out at sad rainy MPLS.

is it even worth it?

i'm so tired.
my eyeballs are bleeding.
my throat is parched.
my head weighs 100lbs.
i am cranky.
i am upset with you.

was it good for you?

i've been smoking menthols like a fucking idiot lately.
a few years ago my diet of choice was 3 packs of Kools, cheap chug chardonnay, and a pile of cocaine the size of an egyptian pyramid.
obviously, that's not the case anymore cuz i don't look like those freaky plastic marionettes that pass as actresses these days.
however, the menthols bring back fond memories.
ya know that park on 25th and Colfax? ya know how it looks like a pirate ship(dude, shrooms helped)? ever done a line of sand underneath it thinking you were reaching for yr awesome dope mound? nope? yeah, well, me either. yeah...that's the ticket.

The Brave Little Toaster totes stands the test of time. watched it last night, Jon Lovitz(jealous?) is the voice of the alarm clock, and it made my fucking week.
rent it. punch Blanket in the face.

is it going to start heating up around here again? i need to run around wearing not much more than a tube top and see through unders. just kidding. i wouldn't do that to my community.
flip flops optional.
let's go swimming.
i need to go to a carnival so bad. now now now.

ever see a dog dip her paw in cheese sauce and lick it off like a disgusted housewife? no? come over.

mom...MOM! my finger hurts.

for real. index finger on my left paw. it's killing me. under the nail, so i can't get to it. can't type with it either, so every letter i would normally type with the index, i now have to use my middle finger. stupid.
it's also dirty under the nail and i can't clean it without crying and wiggling in severe pain.
some stuff oozed out from under the nail earlier, too. what the fuck is it? it's not the fun kind of science. it's the hurty kind.
soaked it in hot water. nothing. cold water. nothing.
it's a very important finger.
i gotta point at stuff, type stuff, pick stuff, tap stuff. all kinds of shit.
i'm dying. and it starts at the finger.
i'm slowly decaying.
withering away.
i should take off the old nail polish for the finger funeral.
yr coming, right?