doctor, no!
we're all grown-ups here, so i can say i've had a few bad trips. nothing that a day in bed and tons of juice and TV couldn't fix, but i really can't stop thinking about last monday in the hospital. what a trip.
the shot they gave me for migraines was unlike anything i have ever felt physically in my life.
i had a headache, sure, i had been freaking the fuck out for the past 4 hours, breathing into paper bags and trying to remember my adress. when you finally calm down from a panic like that, yr head is going to pound. nope, not even the sedatives help.
so, i get the migraine shot, popped right into my left bicep, no big d. didn't even feel it.
the medicine starts with a D. can't remember exactly, i have it bookmarked somewhere for future reference and to say NO if it is ever offered again.
so i'm lying in the hospital bed waiting for it to kick in and holy shit it kicks in....slowly...but angrily.
first i get a little restless and can't stay still, kinda anxious like, but i don't pay any attention cuz i'm in the fucking ER and i want to go home, so yeah, i'm feeling ansty.
little did i know......
it gets worse. i'm pacing and twitching and scratching. my fucking headache is gone, but now i have a few more problems to worry about.
my skin feels paper thin, cold and weightless. my insides are hot and my nerves are jack-hammering trying to burst out of my body. i can't stand up. can't sit down. can't sit still and can't move, but i'm doing all of it at once. i'm sweating like an idiot and i can feel all my organs turning into lead.
i really didn't think i was going to live to see the next day. it hurt that bad.
nurse comes in to check on me and what i think i;m only speaking, i'm yelling to her asking when this will wear off. "ya feeling kinda restless?" YES. YES I AM AND I HATE IT.
she brings me some benedryl to help calm the death inside of me down. she says it will wear off in about an hour. ok, i can take that.
when i finally get to go home, it gets worse. WAY worse. everything that touches me hurts. a stray hair on my face, Corey brushing against me, it all feels like claws on my insides.
an hour goes by, then 2, then 12, then 24. 3 days later, i'm starting to feel it fade away.
i can't stop thinking about it. i'm having a hard time going to work everyday. even being alone because i'm scared that awful feeling is going to come back just out of nowhere.
talk about not helping a lady with a fucked up disorder anyway, right?
this stupid entry is not going to do it justice. it really was death. and i hope none of you ever have to feel that way. and if i ever have the sorry oppurtunity of that kind of pain again, let me just suggest that i won't last through the end of it.
i'm not surprised that i can't get over it.
i wish i could fast forward to when i forget all about it.
the shot they gave me for migraines was unlike anything i have ever felt physically in my life.
i had a headache, sure, i had been freaking the fuck out for the past 4 hours, breathing into paper bags and trying to remember my adress. when you finally calm down from a panic like that, yr head is going to pound. nope, not even the sedatives help.
so, i get the migraine shot, popped right into my left bicep, no big d. didn't even feel it.
the medicine starts with a D. can't remember exactly, i have it bookmarked somewhere for future reference and to say NO if it is ever offered again.
so i'm lying in the hospital bed waiting for it to kick in and holy shit it kicks in....slowly...but angrily.
first i get a little restless and can't stay still, kinda anxious like, but i don't pay any attention cuz i'm in the fucking ER and i want to go home, so yeah, i'm feeling ansty.
little did i know......
it gets worse. i'm pacing and twitching and scratching. my fucking headache is gone, but now i have a few more problems to worry about.
my skin feels paper thin, cold and weightless. my insides are hot and my nerves are jack-hammering trying to burst out of my body. i can't stand up. can't sit down. can't sit still and can't move, but i'm doing all of it at once. i'm sweating like an idiot and i can feel all my organs turning into lead.
i really didn't think i was going to live to see the next day. it hurt that bad.
nurse comes in to check on me and what i think i;m only speaking, i'm yelling to her asking when this will wear off. "ya feeling kinda restless?" YES. YES I AM AND I HATE IT.
she brings me some benedryl to help calm the death inside of me down. she says it will wear off in about an hour. ok, i can take that.
when i finally get to go home, it gets worse. WAY worse. everything that touches me hurts. a stray hair on my face, Corey brushing against me, it all feels like claws on my insides.
an hour goes by, then 2, then 12, then 24. 3 days later, i'm starting to feel it fade away.
i can't stop thinking about it. i'm having a hard time going to work everyday. even being alone because i'm scared that awful feeling is going to come back just out of nowhere.
talk about not helping a lady with a fucked up disorder anyway, right?
this stupid entry is not going to do it justice. it really was death. and i hope none of you ever have to feel that way. and if i ever have the sorry oppurtunity of that kind of pain again, let me just suggest that i won't last through the end of it.
i'm not surprised that i can't get over it.
i wish i could fast forward to when i forget all about it.
posted by maria | 9:04 PM
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