Wanted:
Male or female with indubitable self esteem for me to destroy when I am having scratching fits and anger attacks from not smoking.
must have long hair for me to pull, as I am sick of losing my own.
must not be afraid of loud noises, screams, and swears.
Must have reliable transportation for when I demand lollipops, sodas, egg rolls, a bouquet of tiger lilys, or the latest issue of Fangoria. Cuz when I want it, I better fucking get it.
must be willing to cuddle after all the "smoker quitting smoking" abuse.
Makes it all worth it.
Pssst...Someone come over and sneak me a sip of whatevs yr smokin'.
must have long hair for me to pull, as I am sick of losing my own.
must not be afraid of loud noises, screams, and swears.
Must have reliable transportation for when I demand lollipops, sodas, egg rolls, a bouquet of tiger lilys, or the latest issue of Fangoria. Cuz when I want it, I better fucking get it.
must be willing to cuddle after all the "smoker quitting smoking" abuse.
Makes it all worth it.
Pssst...Someone come over and sneak me a sip of whatevs yr smokin'.
posted by maria | 1:23 AM
3 Comments:
Fangoria! Man, I haven't thought about that magazine since my Shinder's days.
That said, I'm not really DOING anything, so y'know, I think that makes me highly qualified. Lots of free time.
I'm mailing a resume.
nice blog! hope either you quit smoking, or quit quit smoking!
you write well!
namaste;
bodhi
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