Parched Monkey.
I wish I could ride a unicorn outta this state. Don't get me wrong, I love Minnesota, and really really love Minneapolis, but the season changes are so intense i don't know if i'm coming or going. Like today, I was so confused by the bright happy sun, that i walked outside in bikini bottoms and a fur coat, just to be prepared.
I can't deal with winter. Anyone who says they can is a liar and jerk and probablly doesn't even live here.
I hate going outside on a winter day, and having my entire body hurt, my lips burst into windburnt flames, and getting all rashy from shitty sweaters and ugly flannel. I like wearing as little as possible, and this cold thing makes that very difficult. Oh, and I HATE HATE HATE SOCKS. no joke. Wearing them is gross, feeling them worse, and picking them up off the floor is vomitous to me. I hate socks SO much, that when i worked in a record store, i would walk to work in the blizzards with my boots, and tights and socks, and I'd keep my little red flip-flops in my backpack, and change when i got to the store. Even the word sock turns my stomach.
Shit, i can already feel my lips starting to parch. Actually, that's a really good word to describe me in the wintertime: Parched. Severely cantakerous, persnickity, and Parched.
I wish I could figure out how to make links on this thing. someday.
By the by, not only do I detest socks, but i hate monkeys, too. Yet I cannot resist a sock monkey. Red lips, red butt, pointy feets, and a little hat. Thre are SO many games you can play with them.
But, put a sock monkey in socks, and I'll tear your face off.
I can't deal with winter. Anyone who says they can is a liar and jerk and probablly doesn't even live here.
I hate going outside on a winter day, and having my entire body hurt, my lips burst into windburnt flames, and getting all rashy from shitty sweaters and ugly flannel. I like wearing as little as possible, and this cold thing makes that very difficult. Oh, and I HATE HATE HATE SOCKS. no joke. Wearing them is gross, feeling them worse, and picking them up off the floor is vomitous to me. I hate socks SO much, that when i worked in a record store, i would walk to work in the blizzards with my boots, and tights and socks, and I'd keep my little red flip-flops in my backpack, and change when i got to the store. Even the word sock turns my stomach.
Shit, i can already feel my lips starting to parch. Actually, that's a really good word to describe me in the wintertime: Parched. Severely cantakerous, persnickity, and Parched.
I wish I could figure out how to make links on this thing. someday.
By the by, not only do I detest socks, but i hate monkeys, too. Yet I cannot resist a sock monkey. Red lips, red butt, pointy feets, and a little hat. Thre are SO many games you can play with them.
But, put a sock monkey in socks, and I'll tear your face off.
posted by maria | 5:00 PM
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